Ragnar Diaries: Road to Ragnar

If you had told me a year ago that I would be gearing up to run a 200-mile relay race with 11 of my friends. I would have told you that you were on crack. Yet here I am running around getting everything ready to pack up for what I am expecting will be one crazy weekend. (if you don’t know what Ragnar is Click the link here and take a look at the insanity that will be happening this weekend)

You may be wondering how I found myself doing something so outside my comfort zone. Well, it all comes down to the ” year of yaaaassss” and my love of pizza. ( yes. I agreed to this for free pizza- this is not the first time I agreed to do something because of the promise of free pizza)

When my friend asked me back in November ( I think, dates are hard.) I looked at him like he was insane. But since I wanted to stick to my ” year of yaaaassss” I said sure why not. Thinking of course that there was still time to back out.

I started training on my own around that time. At my first run, I thought I was going to die and my average mile time was around 17 minutes. I remember sitting on the floor at the gym thinking “there is no way in hell I can do this. JK is going to kick me off his team.”

Yet I kept going because I had talked about it so much with everyone that I started to get excited. I mean who wouldn’t be excited to be jammed in a van with their friends while all gross and sweaty….( partial sarcasm).

We started doing Saturday runs together outside to get used to running not on a treadmill. Somewhere in the training it got to a point where I really started to look forward to Saturday runs and not dread everything about them. My miles and speed slowly started to increase without me even noticing it and my confidence about the race started to get a little higher (not much.. but a little)

I’m excited and nervous about how this weekend is going to go. Either way, it is going to be an interesting story to tell for a long time. And for those who know me, know how much I love bragging rights 🙂

The last two days have been filled with packing, prepping snacks, prepping amazing playlists and trying to tune out the nerves while I get ready to spend 36 (+) hours with my VanFam!

Don’t worry blog friends- I will updated you on how everything goes!**

Xo- C

 

** If you follow me on Instagram I will be posting and Insta-streaming events of the weekend!  If you don’t follow and want to check it out- My insta username is Cupcakenova. ( I will be making my Insta public for this weekend only for those who want to check out the craziness!)

On Repeat: Divide

Ever since the day this album dropped I have listened to it in full at least once a day. (usually more… #notevensorry).

A friend told me the album should just be renamed ” your future wedding songs”

and I couldn’t agree more.

If you haven’t heard it yet- sit back and get ready to be gut punched in the feels. (No joke- just wait until you get to Save Myself. )

But for real- how do I get my very own Ed Sheeran?

Most Played Song:

it is a tie between “Dive” and “Perfect”

Anyone else obsessed with Divide?

Post your favorite song from the album in the comments

Your Hair is Everywhere…

Okay so maybe my life isn’t ‘a Dashboard Confessional’s song.

But let’s be honest we have all done things to our hair that has damaged it to a point that you are scared it will never bounce back. My most recent hair fail was that time during the summer I truly believed that my DARK BROWN locks would look way better if they were blonde (fun fact- they don’t) followed by a bright red cover up a few months later and then black to top it all off…

Needless to say- My hair has not been my best friend since all of this started.

So when I got my influenster VoxBox filled with a new hair product set to try I was pretty excited. I received the Dessange Paris USA box and I was expecting it to be a tiny little sample that I would only get to try once. OH NO my friends- these were full blown products. That alone sent this frugal fashionista into over drive.

voxboxjadore

The box came with Shampoo, Conditioner, and an oil serum for after washing. 

Now I’m not one to normally get excited over hair products- Mostly because I can never find anything that really works in my super curly, dry and thick hair. But this stuff is actually pretty awesome. After the first day I could already feel that my hair felt smoother. By week two, I was able to wear my hair down WITHOUT any other hair product in it. (this is a HUGE thing for me because I usually use about 4 or 5 other products to try and keep my curls from drying out or turning into a frizz ball. ) This product has been really great for my hair and smells AMAZING. I finally got myself over to target to check out the price point and the shampoo and conditioner are both around $10 and the oil is $13. This is way more than I usually spend on hair product- But the amount I have had to use in order to feel like it is “working” is less than any of my other products. And since I have curly hair I only shampoo ever other day. With all that said I feel like it evens itself out.

My negative to this product is that this brand does not look like they have any product that caters to ladies with curly hair. And these products have taken a little bit of the spring out of my curls.

If they could come up with a curl enhancing and moisturizing product they would easily jump to being my new favorite

image

(Pay no attention to how bad I look. I have been at work since 7am- and my hair has been unbrushed and in a ponytail this this whole day)

4/5 Stars for the #JadoreDessange VoxBox!

XoXo-C

**I received these products complimentary from Influenster for testing purposes.

My reviews are all my own words and feelings- I was in no way, shape or form compensated for my review *** 

The years pass, but they never get easier

I knew I wanted to post today

But I had known idea where to start

How do you write about something that completely changed your entire life in one small moment?

Yesterday I went to a World AIDs Day event to see a friend speak about a family member she had lost to the disease.  In her story, she said:

 ” Something’s change you right in that moment and others change you over the rest of your life*” 

She has no idea about my experience in 2003

and she probably has no idea how that one sentence resonated with an experience completely different from hers

December 2, 2003: 

In that moment, death became real.

 Not in an old age” way

Not in a ” life threatening illness” way

Not in a “car accident” kind of way

But in a way that someone actively decided to end their life.

And all I could think in that moment was “why?” and “How?”

Why did you feel this was the only way?

Why didn’t we notice?

Why are people so insensitive about what happened?

Why aren’t we talking about this?

How come the school isn’t talking about this?

How does something like this get pushed to the side?

How do we stop this from ever happening again?

These questions have stuck with me for the last 11 years.  And over the years, it has not only shaped the kind of person I am but my career path.

 

These are the topic that people do not want to talk about.

Suicide, death, and depression

But not talking about them does not make them go away

Sadness is real, Depression is real, and sadly Suicide is real.

And depression takes so many forms:

The depressed person can be that person who “Acts out and is impossible to deal with” Because they have no outlet for their emotions

It could be that student with the straight A’s who buries themselves in work because they don’t want to deal with the real world.

It can be that person who sits quietly, going day-to-day doing what they have to do to survive but never really living outside that comfort zone.

 

But until we live in a world where people do not feel isolated or are no longer spoken badly about for talking about their feeling, their anger, their sadness, and all the other things that make up the “ugly” side of human life

We will never live in a world where people feel like their life matters…

…and every life matters.

peopledonot

 

 

(*this may not be verbatim, I’m really bad at quoting)

I won a Sunshine Award!!!!

I won a Sunshine award?!?!? Woot Woot!!!

sunshine-award

I honestly didn’t think people even read this thing, let alone like it enough to nominate me for a blogger award. But the amazing woman over at  “My 10 things” seems to enjoy my random writings. ( and I love her for it!). If you haven’t read her blog check it out. It is full of list (duh!- and who doesn’t love a good list), humor and all around happiness.

So what is a Sunshine Award you may be asking: the basic concept of the Sunshine Award is to recognize bloggers who positively and creatively inspire others in the blogosphere”. ( who knew the sporadic thought bubble that is my brain could inspire the blogosphere. WINNING)

So here is my post to accept my award! At the end I’ll list some other amazing blogs I feel are Sunshine Award worthy! In order for them to accept they must follow the rules below!:

1. Display the Award Certificate on your blog.
2. Announce your win with a post and thank the blogger who nominated you.
3. Post 10 interesting things about yourself.
4.
 Nominate some fellow deserving bloggers for the award.
5. Link your nominees in the post and let them know about their nomination with a comment.

10 somewhat interest facts about myself that I’m willing to share on the internet:

1) I once pierced my belly button in the boy’s dressing room bathroom.

I was 16. My dad said I couldn’t get my belly button pierced. I of course had a friend who believed that they were totally qualified to take on this task because there brother (I think it was) was training to “do this for a living”. We took a (sterilized) needle and ring from his stash to drama rehearsal one night. And well. The rest was painful history. (That is now a  scar on my stomach because OBVIOUSLY we messed it up and I had to take it out like 2 months later. ) This is one of those few times I will say, I probably should have just listened to my dad.

2) I didn’t get my driver’s license until I was 24.

 Yup, true story. Not even sorry. I lived in the city who needs a car when you have public transit.

3) I have a sister and a nephew that I have never met. And I only learned this through Facebook.

The egg donor My mother, had another child before me. Once she peaced out I never really had any contact with that side of the family. Through the wonders of Facebook my half-sister was able to track me down. (I don’t really know HOW… I should ask her that) About a year later she gave birth to the most adorable little boy. But they both live in Virginia and I have yet to meet either of them in person.

4) I have an irrational hatred towards odd numbers

 I literally have no explanation for this. But I will actively avoid doing things in odd numbers. Pumping gas, the money amount always has to be an even number. Important date, better do it on an even day. Eating Skittles, better eat them in an even number. It is strange and I have no logical reasoning for it.

5) I’m a social butterfly with severe social anxiety.

 Yeah… I’m still trying to figure this one out myself.

6) When I was in High School I almost broke my leg jumping off a wall.

 This is another one for the “Sorry Dad” category because I really have no idea what lame ass story I gave you for this one.

In high school my friend Josh used to write scripts and the rest of us as inspiring actors all wanted to be part of his movies. At this point in time, I couldn’t tell you what this script was about (chime in Josh if you reading this and remember!). But it did involve two of the male characters jumping off a wall at the beach.

kings_beach_lynn_425_2

For reference.. this is the area in which this was happening.. and that was the wall we are speaking of…#oops

They must have done like 20 takes of it and not once did one of them get hurt. So my so smart 15-year-old brain thought… I could do that. …Lesson… No I could NOT. I landed straight down on my feet, my knee cracked and swelled up and I couldn’t walk. Went to the ER and luckily it wasn’t broken, But I was on crutches for about 2 or 3 weeks… Worst part… We had the whole thing on film… (I really hope that got lost away with the rest of the tapes!)

7) If I could live off of tacos and pizza I probably would.

You can’t even disagree on this one.

8) As a child, my aunt convinced me an alligator lived in her room.

This was her way of keeping me out of her stuff. And I totally fell for it. I was freaked out to go anywhere near that room. Mind you, we lived in Massachusetts. There is no way in the world there could have been an alligator anywhere near our house…. THANKS AUNTIE.

9) I 100% wish I had been born in a time where I could have enjoyed living through the 80’s.

The hair, the fashion, the music… what is not to love!

10) I walk better in 5 inch heels than I do in flats. 

On stable ground. I Jennifer Lawrence every time she got to the Oscars (aka a klutz). In heels I’m like Tyra on the runway. Nothing about me makes any sense.

 

And the Nominations go to!

The Perpetual Plothole

Project Light to Life

Food 4 the Heart

What 24 looks like 

 

X0X0-Cassi

Manic Monday: Being an adult is hard.

Don’t get me wrong. I love living on my own and doing this whole “grown up thing.”

But living away from home had made me really realize a few things I never knew that I either A) had no idea how to do or B) never realized how annoying they are. Because let’s be honest here, 7 years of higher education really prepared me for nothing. (not a thing. Except maybe how to avoid public safety on a Friday night… Thanks SNHU and Wheelock!)

Things I have no idea how to do:

Taxes: I don’t get them, I don’t like having to do them. And when I fail at doing them myself, I hate that  I’ll have to pay someone else to do them. There just needs to be a machine that I can just take pictures of all my documents and it does all the work for me… for free.. Come on science get on that.

Take care of my car: Oil changes? New Tires? Check Engine light?… What is all this craziness?!.. I know how to put gas in you and drive you places.. That is about the extent of that. (the poor BassMobile, I should probably learn these things )

Being on time:  I don’t know if this is a new thing.. (Have I ALWAYS been late for everything?) For some reason the concept of getting someplace at the correct time has escaped me. I am at least 5 minutes late for everything no matter what time I get myself out of the house (by 5 minutes I really mean like 15.. but really who is counting).

Going to the Doctors for anything other than an emergency: Yup I’ll admit it. Unless I have a life threateningly high fever, I will most likely wait out what every sickness I have. (and sometimes not even a fever will get me to go.. oops) I don’t have a PCP or honestly even know how to get to the closet hospital (Wait that is kind of a lie..I know where it is!!.. sorta… okay yeah I don’t know where it is…. damn…) How do you how you even go about finding a PCP?… Dad I blame you on this one!

Things I have learned are annoying and I hate them:

Laundry (More specifically putting laundry away)……..Just no. I don’t have time for this. Put yourself away.

Grocery Shopping:  I’m sorry but why is food so expensive?  It is a basic need.. why are you charging me so much for meat products. Fuck that!  Oatmeal, peanut butter and coffee until I die! (Which will probably be young since I’m living off oatmeal, peanut butter and coffee).

Bills: I have always known bills suck. But living on my own has made me realize it even more. Especially when there is a polar vortex and the utilities bill doubles in a month.  ::Sigh:: 

jennam2

Jenna Marbles speaks to my soul

Lunch Hours: Okay so I know I’m probably going to get feedback on this. “What! how can you hate lunch hours! it’s a break from work!”  Don’t get me wrong I love eating lunch.  I would just rather take a 15 minute lunch and go home earlier than sit around twirling my thumbs for an hour. Because really who takes a WHOLE hour to each lunch!

Networking, Job interviews, meeting people for the first time:… And basically anything that involves face to face social interaction.  (This is why we have the internet!!) If I don’t know you already, chances are talking to you makes me uncomfortable and socially awkward. (Mostly because I am painfully socially awkward)

Basically can I just go back to the days where my biggest worry was if my cousin had sunk ALL my barbies to the bottom of the swimming pool.

XoXo-Cassi

That’s what Christmas means to me…

I really am all about Christmas this year. So.. yeah I’m sorry for all the holiday post (I lied. I’m really not that sorry)

The other day I stated thinking about things I used to do/believe about Christmas when I was a kid. We all had our weird traditions (though I don’t remember ANY being as creepy as Elf on a Shelf… Just saying). Thinking back to them now it makes me giggle a little that there are so many things I used to be 100 percent convinced of, that I had not thought about in years. Or things I never thought were really tradition and I thought EVERYONE did. (Until I started meeting people who thought I was just weird)

  • I used to be CONVINCED my grandfather was Santa Clause. Not in the “Oh there is no such thing as Santa and my parents are really buying me presents and they are lying to me” way. But in the “Oh my God he looks just like Santa which means he must actually be Santa” way. I used to get scared that I was never going to get presents because there was no way he could miss when I was bad because I lived with him.
  • “Santa Baby”, “All I want for Christmas is you” and “Baby it’s cold outside” have always been my favorite Christmas songs. But I never realized how awkward it sounds for a 7-year-old to be running around singing them until now. (oops)
  • There were about three years that I truly believed that if I didn’t watch Mary Kate and Ashley’s Case of the Christmas Caper Santa would not come to my house because he would still be kidnapped or whatever happened in that movie. (I never claimed to be the SMARTEST kid).
  • Ever since it came out, I watch ELF at least 20 between Thanksgiving and Christmas. And if my father calls me anytime during the Holiday season I will answer with “Buddy the Elf What’s your favorite color?”
  • Mr. Hanky from South Park sits a top my fathers Christmas tree and has ever since I was in high school.
  • Thanks to my love Jaime (@jaimepoison), we brought back Christmukka and birthed the tradition of Christmukka pigs in a blanket.
  • There were some years I used to write Santa an extra letter asking for a mom and sibling.. This went on for a while, until a friend told me that if I had a mom I would have another person who I would have to ask permission from and a sibling meant I would have to share my toys. I promptly wrote Santa a letter asking that he ignored all my previous request for a mom and sibling and that I would take an American Girl doll instead.
  • For the past 10 years my high school friends and I have taken “Family Pictures.” Every year the group keeps growing and it makes me a happy little girl.
  • I could watch Rudolph and The Year Without a Santa Clause over and over. (I still don’t understand why Herbie wants to be a dentist. )
  • NEVER come between me and Hot Coco.. You will lose.
  • Every Christmas Eve/Christmas my dad and I watch a Christmas Story at least 4 times all the way through and our favorite scenes at least once an hour. Thank you TBS for bringing that to us every year!

I hope other people have weird traditions/childhood memories. And I’m not the only one who is this strange (It wouldn’t surprise me at all)

Happy Holidays!

X0X0-Cassi